Cuddle Buddies and Wet Feet.....

It has been raining for six days straight here in Los Angeles. Now being from the Midwest I am more than used to rain but even back home, 6 days of straight rain is pretty unusual. Here in So Cal six days of rain has increased our suicide rate by 30%. People are walking around like mummies in a trance that took an Ambien but never fell asleep. Aimlessly wandering to work, to home, to the market all while sort of being not "really here". Maybe that explains all of the car accidents this week? The terrible tease is that the sun will pop out for like 15 minutes and the clouds break so you think "maybe it's all over" and then BOOM the dark clouds roll back in and it's pouring once again. Oh and hailing....and mini tornado's are touching down, picking up all of the small dogs that everyone bought 4 years ago. Needless to say we are in quite a frenzy here in Southern California.

All that aside, I have not felt the effects of the rain aside from some minor inconveniences like getting my feet wet while walking to my car. I feel pretty upbeat and present. My goal after all is to find "my happy: this year. I am not going to let a little bit of rain, or a lot of rain for that matter, stand in my way.

I will admit that getting out of bed in the morning has turned into a chore. Especially since my son has taken to a new habit of waking up around 5:30ish and coming into bed to "cuddle with mommy" for about an hour before we have to wake up for work and school. That hour is my favorite hour of the day. I have now begun to wake up around 5:30 awaiting his little footsteps down the hall into my room dragging his blankie behind him. He will face me and his warm little breath hits my face and I swear to God it is the best feeling in the world. Sometimes he will put his arm around me and I just melt. I could stay there all day, especially when I know that I am going to have to deal with wet feet and cold weather as soon as I step outside. I am definitely looking forward to this weekend when I can stay in bed late with my cuddle buddies and wake up to the sunshine (well I hope we get some sunshine)!

Lesson 1 for 2010

So far it seems that the universe (or whatever higher power you believe in, should you so believe in a higher power) has decided to give me a lesson and I am willing to take it. The lesson is patience. In every aspect of my life right now I am asked to be patient and I am not a patient person by any means. In fact I think I would categorically be the exact opposite of patient. I want everything yesterday and sometimes the day before. I thought that having a child would help me be patient but it didn't.

I have to be patient about my job and my very stressful and unstable work environment. Patient and hopeful that things will work themselves out in a positive way that doesn't end with me on unemployment with no insurance. I have to be patient about my side jobs that are taking so long to start up after the beginning of the year. I also noticed that my patients with my son are lacking severely. He is only 3 and at times I expect him to be 13 but without all the teenage crap that comes with 13 by GOD!

I was aware that I was very impatient with him but I wasn't doing anything to change it. I then had an "ah ha" moment. I was at home and had to jump on the computer to send something off for work. Dom loves to climb on my shoulders when I sit down at the computer and it REALLY annoys me and usually within 3 seconds of him starting to climb I freak out and yell at him to "get off my shoulders!"! Well for some reason this time I simply said "Dom, you are making mommy angry right now"! OH MY GOD do you know what he said?!?!?!? He said "Oh no Mommy, I don't want you to be angry I want you to be happy"! My darling little boy at 3 years old just wants his Mommy to be happy and you know what in that moment I was happier than I had been in YEARS! I simply replied back "well if you please get down off of my shoulders that would make me happy" and he did and gave me a HUGE hug! Patients, the lesson that the universe was forcing in my face brought me a moment of utopia that only I would know.

In that moment I was a changed person and I embraced my lesson and have put it into full practice. I have not raised my voice once with him or yelled at him (okay i know it's only been about a week) and I feel so much better. I am not stressing about my work mess and my other income taking longer to arrive. All of the chips will fall as they should and they will in their own time. So thank you universe for my first lesson of the year. I will make sure to stay present and accept any and all other lessons you should throw my way!